Which European airport guarantees the worst experience? Which has the longest security lines, the craziest gate transfers, or the most disorganized baggage claim? 

We chuckled our way through Elisabeth Rosenthal’s piece in last Friday’s International Herald Tribune in which she gives results of her own unscientific poll. The results:

1) London Heathrow
“Hands down the worst” cited by “100 percent of respondents.” An airport so massive that passengers are forced to sprint between gates, and hampered by an inconvenient one-bag carry-on limit through security.

2) Charles de Gaulle
The Paris airport features “Gaulle-ing conditions,” look-alike terminals, and a confusing layout that makes you feel like you’re “in an Escher print.”

3) Rome Fiumicino and Frankfurt 
Tied for “dishonorable mention,” one featuring “dirty conditions” and the other offering a miles-long “rainbow” subterranean tunnel.

The piece was in response to a new survey of the best airports in the world, put out recently by the air travel research firm Skytrax. To be fair, four European airports (Munich, Zurich, Amsterdam, and Madrid) did make the top ten list.

But that list is hardly as funny.

photograph courtesy of Two-Zero’s Diary

Throughout France today, 2008 was ushered in with a countrywide smoking ban in restaurants, cafes, and discos that smokers have been anticipating for months. In early 2007, a similar law banned smoking in public spaces and work places, but this is the biggie — no more smoking at the table, over an espresso, or on the dance floor.

Although the law was to go into effect at midnight December 31, officials decided not to enforce the law until Wednesday, as the removal of ashtrays at midnight on New Years Eve could disrupt the party. We can respect that.

Reports in the Associated Press and AFP indicate that smokers in Paris today have mostly been following the law,  stepping outside cafes to have a quick smoke.

Meanwhile, in Germany, eight states, including Berlin, also have non-smoking laws going into effect, banning smoking in public places. The measure, however, seems more flexible – as fines won’t be imposed for the time being (until the public “gets used to the law”) and restaurants are still able to have separate smoking rooms.  

Just as we’re putting up this post, a number of barriers are coming down across Europe.

Today, the European Union removed multiple internal borders—like those previously dividing Germany and Poland, and Slovakia from Austria. In an effort to further promote border-free travel, most intra-European borders previously guarded by patrols and border stations have been abolished, effective this morning.

With this new initiative, the free-travel area expands to 24 countries with the addition of Estonia, the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Hungary, Latvia, Malta, Poland, Slovakia and Slovenia.

400 million Europeans, with or without Smart Cars, can now drive all the way from Portugal in the west to Latvia in the east without showing a passport, visa, or other form of identification.

Berlin’s Tagesspiegel newspaper responded to the amendment by announcing, “The Iron Curtain has finally fallen.”

We think this is all fantastic news—especially during this season of tidings and joy. Which reminds us, happy holidays Cheapos!

Amsterdam’s notorious Red Light District, that central section of seedy sex shops and cinemas, is set to clean up its act.

Job Cohen, the city’s Mayor, announced on Monday that Amsterdam will soon begin requiring all red-light merchants and services to go “legit.” Since the trade’s legalization in 2000, the area has continued to be plagued with pimps and petty crime, along with unregulated prostitution.

The mayor’s new plan will enforce permits and inspections, and will require businesses to have official business telephone numbers and registered addresses.

The Associated Press reports that the city hopes to lure in luxury hotels, fashionable boutiques, squeaky-clean restaurants and other crowd-pleasers to  the area. And what about the tourists who come to Amsterdam primarily to take in the city’s seedy side?

According to councilman Lodewijk Asscher, “We know that the tourists that come here now, the rowdy Britons, aren’t always the tourists that you’d like to have in the city,” he said. 

No comment.

Emma Clarke, the ubiquitous voice behind “Mind the Gap” and “Stand clear of the closing doors” in London’s Underground, has been fired by the Tube, according to news reports published in London today.

The sacking of Emma took place because the voice-over professional published a number of quite funny faux-announcements on her personal website (which is now so popular that it has become almost impossible to access). These spoof recordings poke fun at perverts, Americans, and the Tube itself.

Some examples:

“We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.”

“Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman’s chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert.”

The 36-year old Clarke also admits to never riding the Tube anymore, because it’s “dreadful.” In the words of the Times of London, it looks like it’s “the end of the line” for Ms Clarke.

Perhaps she might try “Mind the Gaffe”?

Alas, we’ve returned from our patriotic turkey festivity to find, with great relief and thanks, that France’s rail strike has ended.

The strike that derailed commutes and clogged highways ended on Friday, after nine days of severely limited national, regional, and local public transportation services. The Herald Tribune reported Friday that only 2 percent of workers were still out, and that trains were running close to or on schedule.

High level (read: presidential) negotiations helped get the workers back on board, but negotiations between the unions and rail official continue today (Monday).

Thus, dear reader, ends our daily rail strike update. Indeed, another reason for giving thanks.

The transportation workers’ strike that has halted much of France’s local, regional, and national rail transportation entered its seventh day on Tuesday, as protesters and their supporters took to the streets. Today’s developments:

On Tuesday, about half of the countries TGV trains were running. Eurostar service to London was normal. The International Herald Tribune reports that Paris Metro and bus service gradually improved during the day, with two Metro lines shut down entirely and less than half of buses running.

For Wednesday, Paris transportation officials expect one-fourth of the Paris Metro lines to be in operation. One-half of buses are expected to run, and they expect wide disruptions on regional and suburban lines.

According to France24, one-third of France’s civil servants were on strike on Tuesday. The growing list of strikers includes rail workers, teachers (elementary and high school), opera employees, newspaper printers, and postal workers.

The New York Times reports that fewer railway employees (both SNCF and Paris’ public transportation system, RATP) skipped work on Wednesday, with only about 30% calling in absent (down from 61.5% last week).

After keeping quiet for one week on the matter, President Sarkozy addressed the matter at a meeting with mayors on Tuesday, urging the workers to go back to work. Sarkozy is set to meet with union officials on Wednesday.

Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.com, was in town yesterday and it wasn’t just to swing by EuroCheapo’s HQ for a cup of joe (where’s the love Jeff? Next time.) Rather, he officially launched an e-book reader called “Kindle” that lets users download bestselling books for $9.99 and is apparently easier to use and better designed than other electronic readers currently on the market.

It took Amazon three years to develop the reader, which is either a sign of intense dedication or a little too much YouTubin’ distraction, but we’ll give them three cheers for bringing this product to market. After all, this little reader could be a blessing to travelers, allowing us to travel with all of our favorite books with minimal effort.

Kindle Pros: It doesn’t need to hook up to your computer; downloading a book takes about a minute and occurs wirelessly via Sprint without an additional charge (the fee is part of the $9.99); the screen has schnazzy techology that lets you read it with ease in direct sunlight; it has a long battery life and generates very little heat, so you can let the sun burn your thighs at the beach rather than the Kindle.

Kindle Kons: It costs $399…that’s a lotta kash; it lets you subscribe to around 300 blogs, too, but only if you pay a couple bucks extra per month. Hmmmm, aren’t blogs usually, well, free?

It’s Monday, and the transit strike that has crippled Paris’ public transportation continues, affecting residents and tourists alike. Today’s strike update:

On Monday, all Metro lines but one are running. Bloomberg news reports that riders are typically waiting between five minutes and forty-five minutes between trains.

There is no train service between Paris and either Orly or Charles de Gaulle airports. Bus service is running to Orly, but not to CDG.

The much-publicized public bike program launched this summer, Velib, offers commuters an alternative to hitchhiking or walking. However, according to our cycling source in Paris, the bikes are so popular that many would-be riders are showing up to docking stations only to find them empty.

One-third of the high-speed TGV trains running into and out of Paris are running today, while rail service in the rest of the country has been drastically reduced.

Traffic jams were the worst today since the strike started, apparently a result of fed-up commuters shrugging it off and hopping back into their cars. Jams reached 300 kilometers (186 miles) around Paris.

The strike will continue into this week, with union leaders accepting an offer to meet with President Sarkozy on Wednesday. Until then, expect more of the same.

It’s a sunny Friday here in NYC, but in France and Germany, commuter moods are clouded with continued rail strikes. Here’s the latest:

France

The rail strike entered its third day on Friday. The BBC reports a slight increase in the number of trains and metros running across the country, and a significant decrease in the number of workers participating in the strike.

Only 200 of 700 TGV trains across the country are running.

In Paris, the Metro is running with delays, although two lines are not running at all. One third of the city’s buses are not running.

Rail workers voted to continue the strike over the weekend, although support seems to be thinning.

Germany

On Friday, the second day of passenger rail strikes has affected millions of commuters’ journeys. 3,000 workers have walked out since the strike began.

The BBC reports that suburban and inter-city transportation is hit the hardest, with most intra-city transportation systems running smoothly.

The strike is set to end at 1 AM Saturday morning. The union, however, is threatening to strike again over Christmas and New Years holidays if conditions aren’t met.

We wish our friends and fellow Cheapos in France and Germany good luck with their commutes. See you on Monday!