Emma Clarke, the ubiquitous voice behind “Mind the Gap” and “Stand clear of the closing doors” in London’s Underground, has been fired by the Tube, according to news reports published in London today.

The sacking of Emma took place because the voice-over professional published a number of quite funny faux-announcements on her personal website (which is now so popular that it has become almost impossible to access). These spoof recordings poke fun at perverts, Americans, and the Tube itself.

Some examples:

“We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.”

“Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman’s chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert.”

The 36-year old Clarke also admits to never riding the Tube anymore, because it’s “dreadful.” In the words of the Times of London, it looks like it’s “the end of the line” for Ms Clarke.

Perhaps she might try “Mind the Gaffe”?

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photograph courtesy of hereiskaty

If you were in the dark about London’s transport system before—paying a ridiculous 4 quid (€5,90; $7.70) for a single journey on the Tube—you needn’t be anymore. Last week we highlighted London’s love affair with the Oyster card.

To simplify things for short-term visitors, there are also two Oyster cards specifically intended for tourists—a one-day card and a three-day card. The Oyster card for Visitors gives cardholders nearly 50% off all cash fares around London on tube, tram, bus, and Docklands Light Railway. Although you have to register your details to get an Oyster card—this part is too Big Brother for us; we suggest you register as “John Doe” if you don’t want Transport for London knowing your every move—it’s worth it for the savings.

With an Oyster card, you’ll pay £1 for bus fares and between £2 and £2.20 for Tube rides, a fraction of what you’d otherwise spend. The beauty of it is you can now snag an Oyster card for Visitors before you even get into London. A new partnership with Gatwick Express allows visitors to buy cards on the train from Gatwick on your way into town. For more information, poke around the Transport for London site.

Popularity: 8% [?]